Divorce is never easy, but if you’re a stay at home mom, it can be particularly difficult and even frightening. You have no income, no job, and perhaps no skills or education with which to change that. Daycare, day-to-day bills, and spending time with your children if you have to work all become major concerns. But staying in a marriage that is unhappy or no longer working isn’t an option, either. So what’s a single mom to do if she’s decided to divorce, or has been served with divorce papers? The first thing to do is start getting your ducks in a row. A good family law attorney can help but you can get started right away.
Make copies of financial documents
Bank statements, mortgage information, vehicle titles, home closing documents, retirement account statements, tax returns, credit card statements and monthly bills are just some of the documents you should ensure you have copies of. These documents will provide you with an idea of the financial situation as it stands at the time of the divorce, which will help you determine what you might expect after the divorce.
Consider meeting with a financial planner
A financial planner can compile all your documents and quickly come up with a general idea of your situation, including the current values of homes, cars, various accounts, and your current monthly budget. All of this information will help your lawyer to determine what and how much to ask for when it comes to things like alimony, child support, and the division of assets.
Start thinking about how to divide your assets
You aren’t the only one to decide how to divide your assets. Your husband will also have a say, and if you don’t agree, a judge may determine what’s done instead. But you should start considering what you’d like to ask for. Perhaps you want to ask to be given the family home so you can keep the kids in a stable environment. Or you might want to sell it so that you can use your portion of the sale to pay rent in another home. Cars, furniture, various bank and retirement accounts, and many other things are all considered assets and should be included in your thinking. If you’re not sure what you want, or if something is an asset, ask your divorce lawyer to help you figure things out.
Don’t feel bad about asking for alimony
Some women feel guilty asking for alimony. If your state allows it, you should discuss with your lawyer how much and for how long you can receive it. While it may not be a long term solution to your financial issues after a divorce, it can ease the burden temporarily as you get back on your feet and find employment.
Don’t forget child support
You can often get temporary spousal support and child support. Child support is intended to support your children, and even if you have the resources to support them on your own, your husband still has an obligation to them and you should ensure that he lives up to that obligation.
Make a plan
It’s important to come up with a plan for moving forward. You’ll need to look at your financial situation and determine how, when and where to return to work, where you’ll live, and what bills you’ll need to pay, including debts that may be allocated to you in the divorce. Figuring out where the children will reside, how to co-parent effectively, and preserving relationships will also be concerns.
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